Children Can Make Parents Become Stingy

عَنْ سَعِيدِ بْنِ أَبِي رَاشِدٍ عَنْ يَعْلَى الْعَامِرِيِّ أَنَّهُ قَالَ جَاءَ الْحَسَنُ وَالْحُسَيْنُ يَسْعَيَانِ إِلَى النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَضَمَّهُمَا إِلَيْهِ وَقَالَ إِنَّ الْوَلَدَ مَبْخَلَةٌ مَجْبَنَةٌ 

From Sa'id bin Abu Rashid from Ya'la Al 'Amiri that he said, "Al-Hasan and Al-Husain tried to come to the Prophet SAW, then he hugged them both saying: "Surely children are a place of miserliness and worry."

(HR Ibnu Majah No: 3656)

Status: Sahih Hadith 

Learnings:

1. Children are entrusted to parents to be cared for and to be educated 

َٰ يَٰأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ قُوٓاْ أَنفُسَكُمۡ وَأَهۡلِيكُمۡ نَارٗا 

O people who believe!  Protect yourselves and your family members from Hell Fire

(QS. At-Tahrim: 6) 

2. Children are a test (slander) for both parents. It is the parents' responsibility to provide the best protection, sustenance, education and love so that they become pious children. Allah SWT said:: 

وَاعْلَمُوا أَنَّمَا أَمْوَالُكُمْ وَأَوْلَادُكُمْ فِتْنَةٌ وَأَنَّ اللَّهَ عِندَهُ أَجْرٌ عَظِيمٌ 

"And know that your property and your children are only a test and indeed with Allah is a great reward."  

(QS. Al Anfal: 28) 

3. Children can cause parents to be stingy (not wanting to give alms because they want to put their children first). Children can also be the cause of their parents being cowards to preach or jihad because they are afraid something will happen because they love their children. 

4. Al-Munawiy said: children can lead both of their parents to be miserly and encourage them to be that way until they become stingy with wealth because of it, and abandon jihad because of it. 

5.  Al-Mawardiy said: "This hadith explains that one needs to be careful with one's children, because it can cause the appearance of these traits (stinginess). It will also bring forth such morals…” 

6. Miserly nature will be tormented on the Day of Judgement.  Words of Allah SWT: 

وَلَا يَحۡسَبَنَّ ٱلَّذِينَ يَبۡخَلُونَ بِمَآ ءَاتَىٰهُمُ ٱللَّهُ مِن فَضۡلِهِۦ هُوَ خَيۡرٗا لَّهُمۖ بَلۡ هُوَ شَرّٞ لَّهُمۡۖ سَيُطَوَّقُونَ مَا بَخِلُواْ بِهِۦ يَوۡمَ ٱلۡقِيَٰمَةِۗ وَلِلَّهِ مِيرَٰثُ ٱلسَّمَٰوَٰتِ وَٱلۡأَرۡضِۗ وَٱللَّهُ بِمَا تَعۡمَلُونَ خَبِيرٞ ١٨٠ 

And let not those who [greedily] withhold what Allah has given them of His bounty ever think that it is better for them. Rather, it is worse for them. Their necks will be encircled by what they withheld on the Day of Resurrection. And to Allah belongs the heritage of the heavens and the earth. And Allah, with what you do, is [fully] Acquainted.

(QS. Ali Imran: 180) 

May our children be eyes-soothing, soul-calming and cause for charity, not the cause of us being stingy and neglecting Allah's commands.